“The human mind isn’t a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of normality. That doesn’t make them strong or weak people, or good or bad people. It just makes them people.” ― Jim Butch
As I experienced the long arduous journey of the “Dark Night of the Soul”, I have had many people tell me the importance of thinking positively and the importance of “up-ness”…remaining positive and spiritually aligned… placing an exaggerated importance on the ability to transcend the “lower” planes of pain, depression, sadness, shame, guilt, and fear.
Allowing ourselves to feel the discomfort of any of the above emotions has been discouraged. Why would I want to acknowledge my negativity and depression when I can easily bypass all unwanted feelings and bring in “true spirituality?”
In this paradigm, descending into our darker places is considered a failure, an ego manifestation that “needs” to be eradicated as quickly as possible. Becoming more familiar with all those emotions that we consider beneath us, is not something most people decide to take on. However, many souls become masters at “spiritual bypassing”, choosing to rise above the darkness by distancing themselves and disassociating from their feelings and this becomes a virtue to be honored.
Rather than deeply looking at the issues and perhaps traumas that drive our emotions, create anxiety, and prevent us from living the life we truly desire, we repeat the catchy phrases of the decade… ”it’s all perfect just as it is”…”everything happens for a reason”… ”he did the best that he could”, “think positively”, and on and on… I am sure you have heard them all.
I do believe in my heart of hearts that all the above phrases are true, and important “spiritual” realities…but only after you have “faced” the deeper and darker parts of yourself without judgment and condemnation. We then can truly integrate and embody these painful feelings by making a connection with the whole of “us”, allowing ourselves to expand by including all aspects of our psyche.
What I have come to understand is that when you are deep in the thick of your buried emotions and past traumas, and you are fortunate enough to hear the calling of your soul to “wake up”, positive thinking or spiritual bypassing isn’t going to be the boat to get you to the other side of the healing ocean to experience the fullness of you.
Denial how can it serve us? I see many people suffering, and pretending to be something they are not and it breaks my heart. I know how it feels to be scared and want to avoid looking deep within ourselves. This is the most challenging thing we can do! No judgement, I believe denial is a necessary part of healing..…sometimes we just cannot handle all the repressed emotions, and so it is necessary for our minds to shut down all the intensity of feeling so we can live our lives without emotional collapse.
Allow denial to be your friend as long as you need it…..and when the time is right,… you will become aware of the emotional wounding you have buried, and you will want to courageously walk the “Hero’s Journey” by looking deeply into soul no matter how scared you are. “The truth shall set you free”.. I love you and support you on your healing journey as you have supported me…RJ