The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Carl Gustav Jung

You meet someone, it feels amazing.  The energy is flowing, you feel seen and appreciated.  You share many of the same interests, you have fun together.  After some time, it could be weeks, months or yearsyou realize this person isnt for you anymore.  It takes a while for you to figure it out because you want to hang onto the good timesyou dont understand what has changed and it hurts.

So, you come up with stories that he (or she) has changedmaybe you finally realize what a mess they really are (or so you believe).  You end the relationship, and there is dissension between you. You no longer like each otheryou blame yourself or maybe the other in order to feel better, and make sense out of the break-up.  The relationship has failed in your mind, but is this true? Is there such a thing as a failed relationship?  Are we less successful in life if a relationship ends?

It appears to me that there is much social conditioning around the idea that we are far better people if we have a long-term relationship.  I havent yet figured out what long-term is, but I suppose it is up to the individual to decide.  For some people, two weeks may be long-term depending on their relationship needs.

In my world, there is no such thing as a failed relationship, and I highly recommend that it not be in yours.  I would seriously invite you to reconsider that it is not even possible for relationships to fail. Fail at what?

Try this on for size, we have all been conditioned through our societal norms, teachers, parents perhaps. relationships are meant to last, I guess, until the end of time.  I know I am being facetious, but this concept seems antiquated to me.  Relationships last as long as they are fruitful and there is love to share.  Sometimes that can be a lifetime and often times much less than that, and that is okay.

All relationships have a purpose.  We attract those people in our life at just the right time and place for the soul growth that is needed.  We all serve as mirrors for each other and you can be very sure that the person you are with will push your buttonsafter all that is their job!   Recognizing those parts of yourself that you wish to keep hidden is how you heal your wounds ultimately, and in the short-term, it is through your relationships that you have the opportunity to become aware of your issues.

Facing the dark places inside of yourself is challenging as feelings of shame and guilt will often surface.   Offering unconditional love to the other is the only way the relationship can continually improve and be in service to both of your needs.  

Bringing up the wounds from deep within yourself is no picnic, and in fact is challenging and painful, to say the least, but necessary if you wish to awaken to your true potential. When you can feel gratitude for the lessons and strength you gain through your relationships, you will then open up your heart even though it may feel terribly uncomfortable.  You will be truly free to accept and love all that is being offeredknowing you are learning and become more awakened in the process.

What is the purpose of your relationships?to teach you to see more deeply into yourself.  This is called evolution and how you will become more authentically you.  Over time, (exactly how long is unique to you), you metamorphose who you are with the help of all those souls you invite into your world.

If you would like to hear more about relationship dynamics and how to free yourself from the illusions.please check out my radio/podcast shows on; where together we discover how to awaken to our authentic selves and leave the stories behind.  Also, my personal memoir, Hugging Trees in the DarkFinding the Courage to Free the Heart is now available on Amazon.

Wishing you love and peace.RJ