“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Have you ever noticed that wherever you go, there you are? Can we lie to ourselves so much over time that we no longer know what is really true and good for us, feeling instead as though we have to “be” a certain way? If so, for how long can we keep up this charade as our true self-battles with our conditioned self? Only our soul knows the answer. We can change our location, get drunk, take drugs, and escape using whatever means we can find, but what happens when we can no longer hide?
Our egos work against us as they do not “remember” who we really are so giving up the stories is so difficult and means a major dedication to the truth and great courage as you must go through the pain to get to the other side. In other words a herculean effort. A death of the self if you will, no fun but necessary.
We face being honest with the reality of our lives. The self-love inside of us becomes so powerful, wanting to be expressed no matter what the perceived cost. Our heart says “wake up”, “wake up” and we change our lives often times in dramatic ways. Your friends don’t recognize you anymore, you feel alone, lost and maybe even crazy at times. Nothing makes sense or feels “right”. That is the understanding I have come to while experiencing my dark night of the soul awakening. When it’s time to become more conscious, the universal alarm clock will not allow you to go back to sleep, no matter how hard you feel you may want to.
Let’s talk about what that looked like for me as I share a past diary entry with you.… “another sleepless night last night. After tossing and turning for hours “hearing” my fearful thoughts attacking my peace like a gang of thugs, I fell into hopelessness. I prayed and meditated with powerful affirmations and an intention of soulful connection, but I lost the battle, no sleep. I would almost prefer a real gang of thugs as at least I could handle it better knowing that my enemy is not myself.”
The initiation into a new life comes, I will admit, with great fear and suffering. The old self has to feel the pain of dying and the new self has to form out of the ethers of life itself. A process that has to unfold moment by moment. Important though is to become aware that it MUST begin with you….. knowing that what you are is deserving of love, joy, and peace. This is your divine right as who you really are, a soulful divine spirit having a human experience. You are here to live your divine purpose, we all have one… isn’t it time for you to recognize and live yours? I love you, RJ