“This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go. I love you.” ― Nicholas Sparks

There is no greater gift to give to another human being than the promise of love’s ability to transform. I have said many times… love is all there is, and the purpose of life. In my heart, I am learning to really breathe that in with surrender and exquisite grace…a lifelong process of unfoldment.

I am a person capable of loving passionately, but in my past there was so much codependency and a strong need for approval, validation, and acceptance that I wasn’t able to authentically and ‘safely’ express my own needs as an act of self-love.

I recognized that if I don’t know who I am and what I value, I cannot give my love freely as there is always the fear of losing the relationship. I became asleep in an unconscious attempt to hide the truth from myself. Behavior became modified so as to fulfill the needs of another rather than focusing on authentic connection.

I ask myself now “is it love or a deep sense of gratitude?” The experience and the soulful sharing of the intense ups and downs of life, the incredible transformation through the mirror of another, is powerful and life altering. The danger, however, is that an illusionary sense of safety, and subsequent devotion follows, and is labeled ‘Love’ even when it may not be serving the highest good for all.

“The soul’s ability to heal another through understanding, unconditional love and acceptance is transformative.”




Love can disappoint, if we have expectations around what it means to be “in love.” As I have witnessed in my own life the all-consuming desire to wrap myself in a cocoon of free-falling, “throw caution to the wind” kind of love, I have come to realize that it is easy to get ‘tripped’ up…i.e. to decipher if the relationship is TRULY in alignment with authentic needs and values.

Add to that how spiritual teachings have taught all too well…the importance of remaining in gratitude, it then becomes easy to mistake Love for gratitude.

And, the anticipation (and doubt) of romantic dreams coming true, and a soulful remembering of the madness that ensues when we are no longer receiving love as we have defined it …often causes us to mistake other emotions for love. It becomes easy to stay caught in the cycle of fear rather than taking a risk, facing the unfamiliar…making profound changes in life.

“Love is the “all” that shapes us, and by choosing over and over to engage in the beautiful dance of love, we open our world to the wondrous and often unseen delicacies of life, for which I chose to be immensely grateful. First, we must “see” the illusions created by fear of love’s departure, then we are in a much more enlightened position to know what is actually the truth of our heart.” Is it genuine Love or gratitude for what was?


As we journey on and raise our level of consciousness and commitment to become the grandest version of ourselves, we oftentimes need to “end” a relationship in order to have a more soulful and honest one with ourselves.

After all, when someone changes your life in profound ways, it helps you to discover potentials and possibilities within yourself, and creates a more meaningful life. It is a slippery slope even after the ‘life’ of a relationship has reached its appropriate ending.

Relationships serve us as long as they do, and sometimes that can be for days, months, years or a lifetime. It can be very difficult to ‘let go’ and requires tremendous courage.

Gratitude can fool us into staying in a relationship that no longer serves the highest good for all. Much depends on your willingness to know thyself and live in integrity with who you truly are…not easy, but worth the journey.

Always with so much love and gratitude, RJ

Please check out my websites www.robinjillian.com or www.awakenradio.net to learn more about awakening to your essential self! I have many blogs and podcast shows to help you to discover more of you, what could be better.

I also offer one on one coaching (refer to my website). I am dedicated to your continued awakening, and the freedom that can only come as you become more of your true nature.