Breaking out of the “box”….your mission should you choose to accept it....by Robin Jillian
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the past, when I have been faced with a challenging situation, i.e. giving a group presentation for work, I would often be fearful that I wasn’t capable of representing myself in a way that would be meaningful and helpful. My friends and colleagues would often say to me “just be yourself”.
Although I did appreciate their confidence in me, I questioned what that really means. I found it funny…. thinking “how ridiculously simple” it sounds, but at the same time there still remained a lot of self-doubt as I looked deep inside and realized that I didn’t really know in my heart what it looked like just to be ‘“me”?
Who is this ‘“me”, is it the self I have come to know so very well with the same habitual behaviors and beliefs I have had most of my life? Am I my personality? Am I the ideas and thoughts that I have been taught from my initial introduction to this world?
I am afraid so my friends, and you too have been dealt the same hand as you begin your journey to adulthood. Strap on your seatbelts because now it gets interesting…So who is this “you?”
Most of us have spent a big part of our lives (if not all of it) learning how to please others. We have learned from early childhood what behaviors are “correct” and even admired in order to be accepted, appreciated and loved…i.e. safe.
What part of ourselves do we compromise to fit in and remain secure? What remains is that “me”? Is there a more authentic “‘me” buried underneath all of the learned behaviors I have come to know as the truth of who I am?
Well, I am here to tell you that my observation has been that we don’t know who the hell we are. We have been so brainwashed by parents, schools, authority figures and societal norms that our “real” selves are hidden even from ourselves.
We have been so accustomed to accepting the ideas and truths of others as our personal reality that we have become enslaved, and are strangers to the gem of uniqueness that lies inside of us. There I said it…AMEN
These so called “truths” are part of our DNA and changing these self-limiting beliefs is no easy task. Actually it is one of the most difficult challenges you will ever face in your lifetime, but the effort to become authentically who you are is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
What I want you to know is that as you become liberated and free to be “you”, all the experiences in your life become so much more fulfilling, purposeful and fun. You are no longer enslaved by correct do’s and don’t, rights and wrongs, and actually caring what other people think of you. What an exciting way to live!
You can then engage with life in new and profound ways as you remove your inauthentic, outdated and quite frankly boring patterns of behavior. Regaining the sense of your true self is a sacred mission only for the most courageous souls.
You can rewire your old patterns over time by observing your unwanted behaviors, if you are willing to think and act in new ways. Even though it makes you miserably uncomfortable, and questioning your sanity, it is a process to which you must be dedicated. The rewards are true freedom of expression and the gift of self-love.
When your soul speaks, and cries out to live fully from your own true heart… I sincerely hope you will listen and take the necessary steps to discover who you truly are, and what makes you happy, fulfilled and living on purpose.
An extra bonus, you will also discover along the way, is awakening to what is most important to you…allowing you to make new choices that will guide you to living from a place of real empowerment. That is what I want for you…All my love, RJ
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